i was recently pondering on what causes me to spend so much money on technology… and why i bury myself in my computer and books/magazines on computers and A/V tech…. and i think i have the answer… control.
the ability to feel control, power, and success in one’s life… dominance over one’s future… is paramount to the male ego.
so, before i was married/in a serious relationship… i use to spend my energy chasing skirts. go to the gym… work out… care about my appearance daily and rigorously… all in the pursuit of a hot chick to bed on said night. the success this brought ultimately led to my ego getting bigger… and feeling self fulfillment with my own life. regardless of whether it was just or not… it was the means to an end.
After marriage, the whole … going out, shagging, partying thing… became difficult. not because i’m not allowed so much… but more of… 1 night of reckless partying would lead to 2 weeks of depression with my spouse… possible arguing… sadness… frustration… i.e…. MORE lack of control. thus… that satisfaction gained from shacking up with a random female was lost… as it no longer reaped any rewards.. due to the consequences that would follow.
So, I believe, the mind looks for alternatives. Why is it that guys that dig cars… after marriage get GREAT cars? and fix them all the time? why do they develop this passion/???? because they get to keep the satisfaction of “im king!” …without the arguing and problems associated with infidelity!
quite simple really. if i shag another… i get smacked. if i play with my computer… i am left to my own vices…