click . click. $10 grand got deducted… given to her father to pay for his cancer treatments, and she was on her way from rural china to meet her new husband in america. she was a 23 year old mail-order bride. She had never had sex, and was not ready. Not ready for this life. Her new husband waited, somewhat impatiently for 5 months, until he couldn’t stand it anymore and abandoned her. She sought political asylum after the divorce, and got a degree in accounting. Started working in a large american company, and then bought a house.
Really living the american dream. Her house was a 3 bedroom, but never furnished. the yard was littered with dirt and decaying plants. The grass, where existent was brown, and dying. Inside, there was only a futon, a laptop, and silverware for cooking and eating. the concrete was peeling, no carpeting, and the poorly lit corners hid cobwebs and dust packed in the creaks of the walls.
Absolving to make a relationship and start new, she came to terms with her sexuality. After all, she was approaching her 30s fast and wanted to find that true love. She absolved to give in and have sex when she met a nice guy. Just then, her body betrayed her. a circulation disease hit her, and her leg started swelling. One leg massive, unable to walk, bloated, uncomfortable, in pain… she lost her self esteem and all will to take care of herself. She stopped showering, no longer caring about how her hair fell, much less what was in it , clothes took on a priority of being comfortable above fashionable. She found distances greater than 10 yards a chore to travel.
Soon she grew lonely in her dungeon. She signed up for a website to meet some gentlemen. she would often invite them over, on the first date. She hasn’t gone out much, so she hasn’t had many chances to fall in love with the city or her surroundings. all she knew was the comfort of her home and, while others might be shocked… it was a place of peace for her. When guys would come over, she would quickly close the blinds. and shut off the lights. She had trouble walking, and would often have to take a break to adjust her shoes as they were hurting her feet due to the disease.
When asked, why close the blinds, she’d reply “I don’t want anyone to come…. “
It turns out, there are a few gentlemen that are accustomed to coming over randomly and fucking her, then leaving. Last weekend, a gentleman brought breakfast! What a charmer! he came at 7 am. without warning, he showed up at her house. Granted, he smelled like vodka, but it’s the thought that counts, right? They didn’t eat the breakfast. he did however, manage to pin her down, finish inside of her, and promptly leave. Abandoning her to clothe herself, crawl into a huddle on the futon, and rummage through the bag for the breakfast she was to enjoy alone.
When asked if these random guys use condoms.. “I’m not sure…. I usually close my eyes… and wait for them to finish…. sometimes they hurt me”
Did I mention how beautiful her eyes are?
“you don’t have to leave… but please don’t hurt me…. “
I’m not sure what these guys are thinking, but…. i could never treat another soul like this. Everyone has hardship and we all have so many things to overcome. To dangle love in front of someone, to give them hope, and then steal it away just to selfishly get our gratification is disgusting. I don’t get many first dates like this.
That’s when Siddhartha Gautama decided life is nothing but pain, and I decided most of souls are not worthy of saving.