In our daily dealings, going on abouts, my gf often asks me if I find younger women attractive. I’ve been noticing a pattern in the insecurity she shows…. Related to comparing herself to others. Usually it manifests in a fear of someone’s youth being desirable, or their height, size. Granted, some of these things, I did, at one point, find appealing…. But things have changed a lot in my tastes. Age is an interesting one. There’s nothing we can do about it…. And most people that have it… Fail to see it as a virtue… And those who lack it…. Want it. Young people seem to want to appear older, more mature. Older people, want to appear younger and are afraid their age will be a downfall.
I can only think of two reasons why this simply isn’t true. While, one might say, they find the fair skin and innocence of a young person beautiful… I hardly think that makes for a beautiful person. Youth can be an aspect beauty… In a person…. Age…. Or more specifically…experience and maturity…. Can make a beautiful person.
think of a fall. Someone falls 1 meter… And gets back up. Ok, they are fine. You forget about it the next day. What if a person , right in front of you, fell 100 meters… And got back up? How about a 1,000 meters? Would you still forget about it the next day? More likely, you’d tell others about this amazing feat you witnessed. It would be a miracle. Age, experience, time…. Increases the miracle of a person’s life. The more they experience, the more formed, developed they are… And the more beautiful the person is… As a whole. You cannot replace youth…. It’s gone. The thing is, it’s nothing more than a singular trait. Where experience…. Is an all encompassing essence. It’s an environment. A forest. A world. An entire life is held inside the person with experience. The layers and the beauty in each one can be seen and interacted with. This isn’t replaceable nor is it something we should even envy. Do I look at younger men, which are attractive, and wish I had my youth back? Sure. The things I could do if I could go back to being a young 22 year old version of myself. But that’s only assuming I could take what I know NOW and be 22. But as things are? 22 year old me… Vs the 37 year old me? I guarantee you, the 37 year old me would mop the floor with the younger me. In any situation you’d put me in… Including wooing a woman. The 37 year old version of me has more resources, commands more of myself, is more aware, and knows how to use these various traits to put on an image that the 22 version… Simply could never match. Sure… 22 could have a nice 1 trick or two…. But the 37 is so much more diverse and refined, that he can adapt to more environments. If someone were to fall for 22 version and abandon 37 version… Well.. They’re in for a surprise in 15 years. Basically, I’m confident that those around me find 37 version more attractive. It’s not the physical looks. It’s the entire package inside that MAKES the looks.
Now the second point. Range between two people. If the first point holds true, then shouldn’t we just all date people in their 80s? Perhaps… But not likely. Comparable life experiences are crucial for two people actually being able to relate. Someone who’s 22 will find it difficult to relate to a person that’s 37. No matter how much they claim to be “mature”. The life experiences simply aren’t there. Same applies when someone of 40 talks to someone that’s 90. The beauty is there at any age, based on the experiences that make up the person…. But for someone else to RELATE and to appreciate them…. We need to have a comparable life experience range. A 40 year old man can find something of beauty in a young girl… But it’s likely more of a fetish or a specific trait(s) he’s interested in. Not an entire life nor an appreciation of a person. Think of it like grilling a good steak… Vs grilling a good MARINATED steak. The basic steak will be tasty, sure. And you can enjoy it…. But when you spend time to marinate, cultivate, work with the meat… You change it….. And the flavors you now enjoy, are a representation of a labor YOU exerted.
With these thoughts in mind, then why do some men leave their wives of 50 years… For a young girl of 21? Honestly, I don’t think they actually want to leave… I think two separate occurrences happen. 1. The marriage isn’t going very well… And he or they are unable to find a resolution… Various issues… Communication / sex / etc. and 2. The man latches onto a singular fascination which consumes him. In this case… Youth. In most cases where I’ve seen this happen… It doens’t really last…. Or if it does… The younger partner is seen as more of a “pet” or an accessory rather than an equal partner. While this might work out… If it’s agreed upon… It’s not exactly what makes a healthy partnership.