Good vs Bad Values

I dated a girl a while ago who stopped wanting to date me because she felt i wasn’t her type. she wanted to date someone that was more safe.  I made her feel uncomfortable and while i’m honest, i was a bit too much of a player.  she wanted a more safe type of guy.  someone more humble, more down[…]

Fear of Losing Love

As i’ve been working on my insecurities, there’s a few points that are critical to know in the background.  I’m insecure when it comes to love.  not casual relationships, not friendships, not humanity.  when i’m deeply in love, when i’m vulnerable, when someone else loves me. I push people really fucking hard.  It’s been 20 years, 40 people i’ve lived[…]

Separate Modem/Router or Modem/Router combo gateway

When people sign up for internet service (comcast/xfinity/cox/time warner/etc) they are often offered a modem/router combo. …. usually to rent from the provider. People also have the option to buy their own. I wanted to go through quick and break down the pros/cons of each option….. My “usual” recommendation is going to be … just buy your own separate modem/router….[…]

Apple Event Sept 12.2017 summary

Here’s a basic breakdown of the highlights from today’s Apple Keynote. Creative pro in retail Like the tech “genius” but in liberal arts.  Holding classes and seminars in creative creation of activities Watch OS 4 – September 19 Swimming and new integration with machines Heart rate monitoring Resting heart rate and patterns Notifications when elevated heart rate while not active[…]

Cherish the Frame

I’ve waited for you…. to come home… so long…What you’ve been thinking… you only know… It’s hard to think only for myself…. The thoughts come of only life without you…. And a panic overtakes me…..  how can you just be a memory….  when i have this picture of you….. You left … but your picture in the frame… waits for[…]

Blame yourself a bit more….

When i think about my relationships, I often make it a clear point that my partners reacted to me, and i tend to not have much patience, short temper, lack compromise… etc.  i focus generally on how our incompatibility comes from the difficulty it is to deal with me…. and sure enough, people often say “don’t beat yourself up so much”[…]

Trauma Survival

Great discussion on Abuse/Trauma and survival.  This might be about a video game, but it does express some concepts that society and the media often forgets to cover about abuse. The harm doesn’t end when physical/psych abuse stops.  And usually we are NOT ok.  it’s never “fine”… and people don’t just turn out ok.  You learn to carry the trauma[…]

Start Wearing Purple for me… NOW!

This is about fetishes/kinks.  Back in my early 20s, i was a cheater.  it took a long time for me to come out of that mentality and learn my lessons on how to handle a relationship… but that’s another story.   I was married…. and dating this girl in Hiroshima. She was really lonely and wanted attention. I was cheating. And[…]

Abuse and the Beast…..

I’ve had some abusive relationships… hell… even my family was abusive.  I’ve had anger management issues, physical abuse control issues, mental…. and i’ve had partners that abuse me too.  just some nasty, horrible, turbulent relationships.  oddly my friendships are generally healthier… but that’s not the point.  it takes 2 to have a relationship, but the point of this isn’t what[…]